There are a lot of things in this life that we do mediocrely, but sex shouldn’t be one of them. Yes, you read correctly, let’s talk about sexual confidence and why it’s so important. I’m mainly speaking for the ladies since 1) I am a woman, 2) a lot of women are slut shamed for embracing our sexuality and 3) a lot of women are not comfortable in their sexuality
You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you how many ’20-somethings’ I know who have experienced little to NO orgasms in their lives. I know you want to put all the blame on him baby, but we’re about to talk about how to take control of your sex life, because he’s in control of his. He deserves great sex, this is how to provide it.
Embrace your inner sex goddess.
First of all, if you are not aware or completely amazed by the magic your packing down low, you’re wrong. Anytime you’re about to get it poppin’ you should feel like this man is blessed. He is so lucky to be rolling in the sheets with you, because honey, if you don’t feel like you’re about to take him to wonderland, he’s staying right where he is in that moment–in some average punani, having average sex, with an average girl–and ladies, we are not average.
Confidence is number one to achieving an amazing sex life. It reflects everything you are and in everything you do. Could you imagine having great sex with a man who is unsure of himself, seems confused, is acting shy, or second-guessing himself? Doesn’t sound like a good time to me, so why do you think it’d be a good time to him? Let’s face it, a little friendly competition is a great motivator, and if you’re pulling out all the tricks without request, I’m sure he’ll show you what’s up his sleeve as well. If your mind is completely confident in yourself, your body will follow suit. You should feel like Aphrodite the love goddess herself is flowing through you when it’s time to get down, and if you can’t get confident and comfortable with your partner… start looking at what it is about him that has you so shaken up about letting loose.
Get out of your head.
I won’t beat around the bush, if you don’t enjoy giving head, there’s a 98% chance you suck at it. You wouldn’t want a man cautiously flicking his tongue in all the wrong places because “he doesn’t eat the kitty.” The same goes for them. Whatever the reason is that you don’t like it, it’s going to reflect in your technique, and you’re just wasting your time and his. All around, you’re killing the mood. Take all the things you don’t like about it and throw it in the trash. Think pleasure and pleasure only. Now, this comes with how selfless you are with this person, because pleasing someone like this won’t necessarily end in reward all the time. You can learn your partner’s preferences by paying attention to their reactions, and those reactions should be your reward and add to that confidence I was just telling you about. Let’s face it, we tend to enjoy doing things we’re good at.
Speak up and show out.
This should go without saying. There is nothing wrong with letting your partner know what you like and don’t like. It is both of your responsibilities to be open to new things with each other. I’m not talking BDSM, sign a contract, 50 Shades of “where the hell do you think you’re gonna put that?!” But be open to listening to your partner’s sexual desires. You never know, it might ignite something in you that you had no idea you were into. An easier way to approach this would be laying out your hard “no’s.” I’m sure that list is a lot shorter than your fantasies and it breaks the ice for an easier conversation about what you do desire. Don’t half-ass sex, go big or go home. You are sharing something intimate with this person, it should be everything you want and more.
Sex is not a chore.
There is no reason at all, that you should dread having sex. If you do, stop having sex with that person right now. I want you to pick up your phone, block him off everything, and never speak to him again because sex is not a chore. You should always make time for it. Not having enough time, being tired, being busy, is not a good excuse to not have sex. MAKE TIME. Be spontaneous! Make it exciting. The kids awake? Pop some pizza rolls in the oven, play Trolls, go to the laundry room and get that quickie in until the timer goes off to get them out of the oven. Sex is good for your body, mind, and soul. You need those endorphins, girl… and don’t try and fool me into thinking that you don’t think about it as much as he does, because we do. The only difference is, we as women, are expected to keep that inner goddess in check while we’re playing mommy, wife, manager, employee, and all the many other responsibilities we have in this world. Take a break from all that reality and let your man love on you and take all that weight off. Sex is not to be treated as something to check off the box once a week. The world is your oyster, make it happen whenever, wherever you can. You deserve it. And lastly…
Think marathon, not a sprint.
Take your time. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy your partner. Don’t just do it to get it done. Be fully present in this experience. You are only cheating yourself if you’re just trying to get it over with because he’s been whining all week that he’s in a drought.
Just enjoy sex ladies! That’s the best conclusion I can give you. Life is too short for your sex life to be anything less than phenomenal!