MILF: How Being A Mom Made Me More Desirable To Men

In Family & Friends, Love & Relationships by Isis Nezbeth5 Comments

Having a baby is no small task. Being able to wear pregnancy as a single mother is not an easy appearance to put forth, but with the right attitude it is completely possible. Although my circumstances weren’t ideal, I was genuinely happy with the thought of having a child. It showed. Along with my genuine happiness for an opportunity to raise life, I believe there are a few other things that come with being a mom that made me more desirable to men. Before you sign off, hear me out.

When I found out I was pregnant one of my first thoughts were, “Well there goes any chance of me being in a relationship any time soon.” I think other single mothers can probably relate. Little did I know though, I was very wrong. I’ll admit that some men just wanted to try me because they heard pregnant sex is awesome, but that’s neither here nor there. There are many who have been attracted by the transformation my daughter has allowed me to experience. Here’s how being a mom made me more desirable to men.

Being a mom made me responsible.

Yes, I was responsible before being a mom, but now there’s a different sense of responsibility that I feel. When you have a baby (if you know what’s best for you), you get your sh*t together–to keep it real. You tie all your loose ends (or cut them off). You get all your ducks in a row. You focus. This is a desirable trait to find in any individual, but it is definitely one of the transformations I feel made me more desirable to men.

Being a mom made me unapologetically chase God.

Not that I didn’t already have a relationship with God, but now I’m so hungry for Him that I can hardly explain it. A lot of people probably wouldn’t admit it, but I’m not afraid to say that before my daughter, I allowed many things to distract me and even scare me out of making sure every man who tried to pursue me knew that if He didn’t want a stronger relationship with God then there was no possibility of a lasting one with me. It might seem harsh to some, but for those who desire the kind of relationship that I do with the Lord… I know it makes sense.

Being a mom made me get rid of my bad habits.

Of course, being a mom allowed me to get rid of my bad habits. It goes without saying how much your life changes when you have a baby, but the things you let go of while being pregnant don’t just come back after baby is here–and that is a phenomenal thing. Your social bad habits, ‘small’ bad habits, bad habits you didn’t even realize you had–all of those things basically make you cringe at the thought of doing them now that you’re a parent. This makes for a much brighter, more positive you and that is definitely desirable to men.

Being a mom made me see who my real friends are.

I don’t think us women realize that men care about what type of people we consider friends. The friends we choose are, indeed, a reflection of us. Personally, I think men are much better at friendship than woman, but that is just my personal opinion. Regardless, I know for a fact that men care about who we choose to call friend. The minute you announce your pregnancy you start to see what friends are truly your friends. You’ll learn that some ‘friends’ can’t be friends with the sober, mom version of you. It’s unfortunate, but it’s true. When you do realize who your friends are, it’s a great feeling. It’s just another one of those things that makes for a brighter, better version of you and as I said before, that you is much more desirable than the you that you used to be.

Being a mom made me more mature.

Who doesn’t love a mature individual? Even if you thought you were mature before being a mom, you will soon realize that your maturity has developed on an entirely new level . Your maturity is what allows you to experience all of the changes I’ve just previously explained. Furthermore, that maturity allows you to see how marvelous those transformations really are. It’s a real eye opener. Of course, any man is attracted to a mature woman–at least all the men I know.

Being a mom made me take myself seriously.

Being a mom made me take myself seriously. I had to type it twice just to stress how true this is. I take myself so seriously now. I AM A MOTHER. I don’t have time for anything that is not making me into a better woman and mother for my little girl. That meant I had to look myself in the mirror and tell myself just that. Before anybody else could take me seriously, I had to do it. Now that I have reached that realization, I present myself in exactly that light. In other words, men know they can’t approach me with bullsh*t and I think any real man can appreciate that. It’s a challenge and that is desirable.

Being a mom made me a woman.

Straight like that. No matter how “grown” I thought I was before, being a mom has really made a woman out of me. The countless lessons I have learned in just this short time proves to me day-in and day-out that I was just a child before all of this. I have never felt more woman in all of my life. Powerful. Fearless. Wise. Hungry. Proud. Confident. I could go on for days. I don’t know a man who wouldn’t want to describe his woman as anything less.

So, you may agree with me and then again, you might not. Either way, I’ve noticed a huge difference in myself and the type of men who have reached out to me. Whether it was to tell me how beautiful motherhood looks on me or to talk about the possibility of a relationship between the two of us, being a mom has definitely made me more desirable to (the right kind of) men.

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Comments

  1. In reading this article I can say you’ve pretty much hit on the head of what and why a man likes in a woman who has kids. Men of my age of mid to late 20’s who are single with no kids are at a point where we are working to build for a family that isn’t there yet. It’s kind of like obtaining a goal or achievement that hasn’t even began to form yet, but we’re hoping that woman comes alone. And yes we prefer a woman with kids because there is that difference in maturity level that a woman with kids than without. Us men whether we admit it or not look at the way a woman takes care of her offspring as a sign of taking care of us! We are big babies at hear and want that nurturing love like mom gave us as a kid. Because it’s hard for a man to be a man. And to find a woman who will do anything for her kids to survive, knows who to be around and associate with, one who will raise their kids the best way they know how. To see her help her kids grow is what we good men want her to do to us as well. We love that because when approaching a woman, a mother, we have to come correct and present ourselves as gentleman. Having that type of woman will give us strength to go do our daily tasks as men and protect that woman and her child even tho it may not be his, but he treats like his own. Because eventually we want to have kids with that woman as well. A woman with kids already is sort looking ahead in the chapter to see how the story comes out in that section of life.

    1. Author

      Wow! That made a LOT of sense. I never looked at it like that; how you mentioned that men want to be taken care of the way their mama took care of them, so seeing a mother take care of her baby kind of gives them that sense of security. That was a very interesting insight! I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you for letting me know that this made sense!

      1. yes!! Alot of men won’t admit they look at a woman to take care of them that way, but we do! I know I do! Not saying all the time but like I said it’s hard being a man especially a black man in today’s society and sometimes we need to come home and just lay on our women’s chest and feel comforted and know that our women appreciate us for dealing with the world and providing and protecting our family. I’m glad you enjoyed reading my response because I surely enjoyed the article! I connected with it!

          1. Yes! I’m becoming a fan! And you’re very welcome!

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