How To Talk To Women On The Phone

In Dating, For Men, Gentleman's Guide by Isis Nezbeth1 Comment

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Dear men,

I’ll be honest in saying a lot of women claim to not like talking on the phone anymore. Don’t trust that this kind of woman is the kind of woman you want to pursue a relationship with. If she can’t talk to you on the phone, how will she converse with you face-to-face? That’s just a disclaimer. Anyway, we’ve talked about how to start a conversation online and we’ve talked about why you should call instead of text. Now, that you’ve got her number and you know why you should physically call her instead of text messaging, let’s discuss what that conversation should be like. Here’s how to talk to women on the phone. Let’s get into it!

Be available.

First things first, don’t call if you don’t have time to talk. There is nothing more annoying than someone calling you to tell you that they’ll call you back. Yes, we understand that some things are sporadic and that’s understandable. For the most part though, make sure you’re free and available to hold at least a 15-30 minute uninterrupted conversation with the woman you’re talking to.

 

Ask questions that spark conversation.

When you two begin to engage in conversation, make it easy for yourself. Don’t ask questions that are conversation killers unless you’re fully prepared to spark a conversation from her answer (which is pretty hard to do for most). The conversation killers are the common:

  • How are you? – Another way to ask this question is,“You sound like you’re in a good mood. What’s going on?” That will encourage her to 1) acknowledge that she is indeed in a good mood and 2) share with you what caused her good mood.
  • What are you doing? – If you’re a good conversationalist, you can start conversation from this based on her answer, still I don’t suggest it. Instead of asking what she’s doing first, you could tell her what you’re doing and then ask what she’s done or is doing with her day. You choosing to elaborate on the happenings of your day will encourage her to do the same instead of just responding by saying “I’m not doing anything.”
  • How was your day? – I know that you think this is a great conversation starter, but it’s not. It’s a nice thing to ask, but most women will simply reply with “It was good/bad.” Instead, ask her what the highlight of her day was. She’ll have to 1) think about what she did today and choose her best moment and 2) elaborate on why that was the highlight of her day. The fact that you asked her what the best part of her day was will make her smile. Trust me.

For a deeper conversation, try to ask questions that will cause her to answer with a few sentences or more. Spark deeper conversation by asking questions like:

  • What are your aspirations?
  • Where is your ideal place to live?
  • What is your idea of a perfect date?

Listen and respond.

Women love to talk. If you say the right things, you’ll learn that a woman can pretty much have a conversation with herself. Intrigue her enough and she could literally carry the conversation herself, only leaving space for you to harmlessly interject every now and then. If you are a conversationalist, you’ll know how to move in and out of the conversation, but if you’re not really one to talk a lot just ask the right stuff… she’ll handle the rest. The more important part is to make sure you’re listening. If you don’t listen, you can’t respond–which will kill the conversation altogether. Offer feedback, tell your answer to whatever you’re asking her–be engaged.

Let the conversation flow.

If you’re finding that you’re having trouble keeping the conversation flowing and you know that you’re asking the right types of questions and you’re open to conversation, that’s probably a sign that you’re on the phone with the wrong woman. Conversation is natural; it flows. If you’re doing too much work to keep it alive, do yourself the favor of thanking her for her time but I’d start looking to call someone else. It’s okay to realize that this particular woman is not the woman for you. In terms of dating, you probably won’t have a very successful relationship with a woman you can’t have good conversation with.

Be genuine.

This is important. Don’t say things you think she wants to hear. Be genuine. This will help things to flow. It will also relax you and allow you to listen and respond better. If you’re focused on what you should say to impress her, then you won’t be able to really listen to anything she’s saying. When you let your guard down and remain genuine in your conversation, not only will you be able to listen and respond to what she’s saying with ease, but she’ll probably love everything you’re saying as well.

Leave her thinking.

There is such a thing as having too long of a conversation. I know you don’t think so, but seriously. The first conversation is usually much longer than the ones to come because both of you are trying to get to know each other, but leave some for later. Don’t spill out all your guts the first go-around. You want to leave her thinking about the next conversation you two will have. End the conversation letting her know that you enjoyed speaking to her, but you’ve got to go for now. Now she’s thinking about things she wants to ask you next time so that she can listen and respond. She’s wondering if you’ll remember anything she said from this conversation. She’s probably even thinking about how sexy your voice is. No matter what thoughts she’s having, she’s thinking about you. This is a great thing ad will definitely guarantee another phone call in the future.

You’ve got her attention, so don’t waste it. Although we appreciate the morning text, offer her a little bit more as well. You’re well on your way to being quite the conversationalist. So, go ahead and give her a call on your lunch break. You got this. I know she can’t wait to hear from you.

 

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Comments

  1. Thanks for the great advice! I am going to call a woman tonight and feel awkward and your advice helps very much.

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