There’s a difference in not telling everybody about your relationship and not telling anybody about your relationship.
Before we get into the nitty gritty of things, I’m not saying that you need to wear a #taken t-shirt or put a sign on your head that reads ‘I’m in a relationship’, but people shouldn’t be oblivious to the fact that you’re in a committed relationship. Furthermore, being in a relationship should change something about you, if not many things. Things that make people say, “hmmm… what or who has caused this change?” Now that we’ve gotten the panties out of a bunch, let’s get into why it’s a problem.
The main reason I feel it’s a problem if people don’t know you’re in a relationship is because there’s nothing about your behavior that leads people to believe you are. If you think about people you know who are in happy, healthy relationships, you can attest to the fact that it shows within them. They glow, inside and out. They behave in a respectful manner to both themselves and their partner. For example, I don’t see anything wrong with hanging out with members of the opposite sex when you’re in a relationship so long as they know that you are in fact in a relationship. Honestly, it makes you wonder, if you can’t tell that particular friend that you’re in a relationship what is causing you not to disclose that information? I know many will argue that it’s “nobodies business” whether or not they’re in a relationship, but I beg to differ. It is people’s business because it will eliminate a lot of the confusion surrounded by physical and emotional infidelity.
Another thing I want to point out is lying by omission, which apparently many people believe to be unreal. When you catch up with an old friend or meet someone new and they ask you about yourself or what’s new in your life, that’s your queue to bring up your significant other. If you have a full getting to know you conversation or ‘just catching up’ conversation with someone without mentioning your SO at all… that says something. Are you embarrassed of your partner? Do you want to appear single for some reason? Are you worried about someone in particular finding out you’re no longer single? All of these questions arise, at least for me, when someone fails to acknowledge their relationship.
No, you don’t need to cover your social media profiles in couple photos or make every status about being in a relationship, but still it shouldn’t be a secret. This is another reason I’m always so adamant about clarifying your relationship with someone you’re just “talking” to. It’s not that you guys shouldn’t take some time to get to know each other and make sure that you actually want to be in a relationship with each other, but you definitely need to clarify the relationship at some point down the line. Otherwise you find yourself reserving yourself for someone who doesn’t exclusively belong to you, which ultimately leaves the door wide open for broken promises, broken hearts, and plenty of confusion.
Not to mention how failing to acknowledge your relationship might make your SO feel. Sure, to you it might not be a big deal to let others know that you’re in a relationship, but that might not be so for them. They might feel like because you’re not “excited” (which could also be a misconception) about the relationship, that they’re not allowed to be either. So take that into consideration too. Nevertheless, if you find that you’re not disclosing the fact that you’re in a relationship often or even at all, dig down and find out why. If there’s not much reason behind it, embrace it and share it with the world! If you find that there are some not-so-good reasons behind it, evaluate whether or not you truly want to be in the relationship you’re in! There’s a big difference in being in a relationship and wanting to be in a relationship and you both deserve the want!