You would think it was common knowledge that one of the best privileges to being grown is not having to explain yourself. Think back to when you used to ask your parents why you had to do something. What was there response? Does “…because I said so” or “I don’t have to explain myself to you” sound familiar? I know that was usually the answer I received. When you become a grown ass adult you gain the right to respond to those who inquire about your life, that exact same way. It’s your life and you don’t owe anybody an explanation as to why you’re choosing to live the way you are, BUT–if you do decide to explain yourself… please tell the damn truth. Here are 7 things you should never lie about as an adult.
1. As an adult, you should never lie about where you live.
This lie is pretty common for our generation. I believe there is a certain stigma that comes with where you live once you’ve reach a certain age. Don’t feel bad, I’ve done this before too. Not necessarily lying about where I was living at the time, but lying by omission. If you didn’t know I lived with mom, I didn’t tell you. Now, I realize that living with my single mom as a single parent is by far the best decision I could have made, but like I said… I don’t have to explain myself to anyone. And let’s be clear about one thing, if you live in a place that’s filthy, roach infested, etc. then you really have no room to speak on whether or not someone else’s living arrangements are acceptable or not–you don’t have any say so if you live in a luxurious condo… but you especially can’t talk if your place is nasty. Same goes for people who live somewhere they can’t afford just to say they live outside of their parents’ house.
2. As an adult, you should never lie about who you’re with.
Shallow. That’s really all it is. If you feel the need to lie about the person you’re with, you are a shallow asshole. There I said it. I’ve heard it before… “It just isn’t anyone’s business.”
Sure, there is the rare case where both people in the relationship choose to go invisible, but they do it as a couple.No more social media and you only see them out on rare occasion, but they’re happy and visible when you do see them in the flesh. Those people who take selfies of bae’s foot or something instead of just sharing a photo of him? There’s something there that’s stopping that. Bae doesn’t quite meet the expectations this person has for themselves or that they think others have for them. Simply put, they’re scared of whether or not they will be social media approved.
3. As an adult, you should never lie about why your friends with someone.
You’re a grown ass adult. If you want to be a genuine friend to someone, that’s your business. Never let the thoughts of others dictate who you give your time and energy to. Protect yourself. Watch for reciprocity and falsifications, but if you don’t see any red flags–be a friend and a damn good one. Leave the judgment to Jesus. The world is definitely lacking genuine friendship these days.
4. As an adult, you should never lie about what you do and what you make.
Your credentials are your credentials. Never let someone’s opinion about your place of work or your job description make you think negatively about your accomplishments, your role, or your occupation. There are jobs that you probably couldn’t imagine doing (let’s use janitorial work for a cliche) that could potentially make a lot more money than, let’s say, a food service manager. Point being, it usually comes down to where you work, how long you’ve worked there and (in some cases) how well you do your job–not what you do. All of that to say, never be ashamed of how you feed your family. Don’t forget that as long as you’re doing something you love, you’re already winning.
5. As an adult, you should never lie about your intent and expectations in a relationship.
Of course, this can be applied to any type of relationship you choose to pursue. As usual, we’re going to look at it from a romantic perspective right now. As an adult, you should have at least some kind of expectations for what you’re looking for in a partner. More so, you should know how to be upfront and honest about your intent when pursuing a relationship of any kind. There should never be a need to lie about either of these things because then you’d be leading the other person or even worse–playing yourself. Neither of which are a good look; am I right?
6. As an adult, you should never lie about what you believe in.
I don’t care how “conscious” my generation gets… you will never catch me denying the power of God or the fact that his Son died on the cross and rose again just for me.For some, just reading that sentence is ridiculous to them–but you won’t ever catch me lying about my beliefs on account of someone else or their two-cent opinion. In return, I don’t scoff at the belief of others. Whatever you believe in your heart is for you to believe and have faith in. Period.
7. As an adult, you should never lie about your mental health.
I was so guilty of this and I had no idea. It’s crazy to think about now, honestly. I didn’t only lie about my mental health to others; I lied to myself, more importantly. I was so used to masking my feelings that I didn’t acknowledge my true mental state until I couldn’t handle the pressure anymore and tried to kill myself. When I became truthful with myself, my family, my doctors… I was able to begin the healing process. Don’t wait. Admit the issues you’re having and get help as soon as possible.
Always remember that love always wins. The people who love you only want the truthful answers about all of the previously mentioned. In my personal experience, they’ll love you even harder for your honesty. The people you feel the need to lie to don’t deserve to be in your life in the first place. Let the truth set you free.