What To Do AFTER You Slide Into The DMs

In Dating, For Men by Isis Nezbeth0 Comments

First off, good job! You’ve grabbed her attention. You even got her to message you back. You have successfully slid into her DMs–but what’s next? How do you make sure you don’t blow it now that you’ve gotten this far? How do you make sure you don’t come off as a creep or too overbearing? What are you supposed to say now that the conversation has started? If you’re wondering the answers to these or similar questions, I’ve got your back. I’ve noticed that addressing how to properly slide into the DMs seems to be paying off pretty well, as it’s literally the most visited article here. So, I figured now would be a good time to discuss what to do after you slide into the DMs. Let’s get into it!

After you slide into the DMS, follow through and follow-up.

Now that the conversation has begun, it’s up to you to follow through and follow-up. I don’t know why we as women don’t believe we should be the ones to carry the conversation once it’s begun, but unfortunately many of us don’t. That leaves both the ball (and the pressure) in your court. She may seem sort of standoffish and disconnected in her responses, but it could mean she wants you to dig a little deeper or add a bit more flavor to the conversation. Impress her. Interest her. Involve her. That’s what she’s waiting on. She wants to be waiting for the little notification on her phone telling her you’ve messaged her again. Trust me–but don’t get it twisted, she won’t be excited if the messages are boring, dull, and uninteresting. NEXT!

After you slide into the DMS, be attentive to her and the conversation.

As I mentioned when we were discussing how to initiate online conversation, do a little research on the person you’re trying to talk to. Mention something about their recent posts. It’s okay to throw her a compliment if she posted a selfie, but back it up with a little more “oomph”. For example, “you looked really nice in the picture you posted today. Were you going anywhere special?” Leave her with a reason to respond. Do your best to pay attention to details and to comment or question on the details whenever the opportunity arrives. That will drive the conversation without you having to do a lot of hard (and worried) thinking about what to say next.

After you slide into the DMS, be consistent with her and the conversation.

Making conversation online can be a tedious and timely process. Be patient and be consistent. As long as you’re getting a solid response, I’d say it’s fine for you to continue messaging that person. You should be able to tell if the person is uninterested and if you aren’t sure… just ask. The worst they can say is yes and that’s okay. You deserve to talk to someone who is interested in getting to know you. Not some egotistical snob of a social media whore. I’m just being honest. In all seriousness though, when you’re offering fruitful and consistent conversation, she’ll interact with you. She’ll respond to your messages and hopefully over time the conversation will move from the computer to the phone.

“You deserve to talk to someone who is interested in getting to know you. Not some egotistical snob of a social media whore.”Isis Nezbeth
After you slide into the DMS, call her sometime.

Initiating conversation online is great, but you should hope to move from the computer screen to physical conversation with that person. I’m not a huge fan of texting because to me it isn’t really any different from you being in my DMs. When I give someone my number, I expect them to call and talk to me. You still need to offer good conversation. You still need to be attentive. And you definitely need to be consistent, but with all the catfish and craziness in the world–call the woman. Let her know you’re real. It also makes her anticipate putting a voice with the face she’s seen in her inbox so frequently. It adds personality to your messages even.

After you slide into the DMS, invite her to meet in a nice, public place.

After a few weeks (or however long it takes for you two to feel comfortable with each other), invite her to a nice public place to meet face-to-face. Yes, online dating can be scary and dangerous, but that’s why it’s so important to be smart about everything you do. Not to mention the importance of staying prayed up, my man. No weapon formed. Anyway, if the conversation continues to be healthy, the two of you will eventually want to meet each other at some point (or FaceTime, I guess for those who aren’t near one another). This is great when done safely and correctly. The more you spoke to her, the more you should have gotten a feel for what she might like. Invite her out to something you know she’ll enjoy. Be sure to guarantee her that she’ll be safe, protected, and that she’ll have a great time.

After you slide into the DMS, go for gold.

It’s 2017 and we’re damn near halfway through the year. Go for gold, dude–and no I don’t mean try to hit it. More and more people are building strong, lasting relationships that started from simply sliding into the DMs. Your story doesn’t have to be any different. Wow her. You have it in you to do it… I know it. Be yourself and show her how lucky she is that you built the courage and the confidence to holler at her. She’s been flattered from day 1, even if she hasn’t told you that. The more you wow her, the bigger the potential for a relationship. Go for gold, fellas. I can’t wait to hear your stories!


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