The GOOD Woman


 So I’m doing my normal IG surfing and I come across one of those quote picture things with an astounding question on it. “Why do men say they want a good woman, but are attracted to the exact opposite?” What a great question. Back in college, even I was guilty of seeing certain people get together and thinking to myself, “…of all the people in the world, why did such a good guy choose to bag that hussie when he could do so much better?” [indeniably thinking of myself most times!] The truth of the matter was though, in my case, the simple fact that she was more accessible than I was. I was ALWAYS busy in college with sorority life, cheerleading, student activities, work, and of course being a dedicated, full-time student. People are always attracted to the easy. Even when they don’t realize it. This is just one of the ways a man can mistake a lesser woman’s actions for that of a good woman, thus, tainting their perception of what a good woman actually is.

My question to all of us is this–are we making sure that our perspective of a good woman is understood among men?

In lesser words, are we representing ourselves daily as good women in today’s society or are we just assuming that a man can see this in us? It’s no mystery that women are a fluid concept to most men no matter how much they act like they know us. So, no, I don’t fault the guys for choosing the girl that’s less than because I’m pretty sure that even though we know she isn’t a good one, there are certain things she does for him that men like and that fulfills a man’s definition of a good woman. I’m going to touch on a few things I think are included in a man’s definition of a good woman, how [the good woman] fails to blatantly show this, and how the lesser woman’s actions can be perceived [by men] as that of a good woman. Here we go:


    • Good women do this, but we’re more likely to point out the areas that he needs to improve in than actually praising the areas he feels good about. We don’t have to stroke their ego too much, but don’t be too stingy with the ‘good job baby‘ moments. He needs those.
    • The lesser woman feeds his ego. Even if she doesn’t mean it, she’s good at making him feel like ‘the man‘ and making sure EVERYBODY knows she thinks so.
    • I know what you’re thinking, but this is a major part of what a man wants in a good woman. LOOKS MATTER. The good woman can be attractive, but we probably won’t go to drastic measures to feed his attraction. Remember ladies, it’s not a bad idea to whip the sexy out every now and again.
    • Unlike the good woman, the lesser woman validates herself through his attraction. Cleavage, ass shots–you know, the whole ‘hussie’ kit-and-kaboodle. They get fed from that carnivorous attraction the man provides. I’m not going to lie, a few of us could us just a tad bit of this mentality, definitely in the bedroom.
    • Daddy’s home! Don’t act like you didn’t know… as much as a man loves a sexy woman, sex is super important. I think most times we are scared of seeming promiscuous when that isn’t the case at all. There is nothing wrong with being a freak in the sheets for YOUR man. Find out what drives him crazy and do as much of that as possible–or someone else will!
    • This is generally one of the number one ways the hussie beats the real woman. They’re ruthless. They go to extreme lengths to satisfy the man. They don’t worry about what people are going to say and they make sure they go above and beyond any ‘good girl’ activity he may have been used to.
    • All too many times do we as good women forget that we are here to support our man. It doesn’t mean you have to pay for everything, rub his feet, cater to him hand and foot–but we should want to. We get so caught up in the fact that men have to provide for us or that we are too independent to need them to.
    • The lesser woman is normally the girl we call ‘stupid’ for spending all her money on his J’s, the lingerie, and other material things. She doesn’t normally make the best decisions on what to buy, but for a man, at least she is willing to buy. I’m not gonna lie, these are generally the ones that end up being used, but hell, they’re still getting a little more out of him than you were able to pull.

Now, if I pointed out every little difference we’d never get to the end of this, but I’d like to say this: We have to be willing to give a little more for OUR man ladies. I’m not at all telling you to do this for any and everybody. Be selective. However, we have got to come off this “A good guy can’t handle me“, “I’m independent“, “I’m not waiting on a man hand and foot” mentality! If we don’t start showing men that good women are out there, we’ll continue to lose them to the ‘others’ and the less worthy. It’s not weak and stop lying to yourself–WE ALL WANT TO SWEPT OFF OUR FEET.

Here’s to keeping it real, ladies.

✌️ + ❤️ good people,



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