Don’t Hate The Player

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As much as I love being a writer, it sucks to be emotional about anything because the only thing you want to do is write about it! We’re best friends, you and I… I swear by the end of this all, you’ll know more about me than half the people that spend damn near every day with me. Anyway, while we’re on the topic of knowing one another, my boyfriend and I aren’t doing so well at this right now. As we all know in every relationship, you’ve got to get to know each other. You should be learning your partner daily. That we are able to do quite well, the issue arises from the fact that you won’t always like everything you learn.

We’re having our first experience of this now. It’s not important what the issue is, but I did say something while we were trying to talk the issue over that made me –well both of us–stop in our angry tracks and say “Damn. That was deep.” I have a tendency to have that effect on people. Ha! Anyway, so here we are doing the “maybe we shouldn’t do this“, ‘saying shit we know we’ll both regret later’, kind of arguing when he tells me he feels like he is playing for my team, but I’m not on his. My response was “You’re on my team and (if you didn’t realize) I’m on yours, but if you don’t teach me the rules of the game, I won’t be a valuable player.” 

One thing I’m certain you guys have been able to pull away from some of my earlier relationship articles is that I haven’t had the most ideal outlook on relationships. I’ll be honest, I’m great at giving other people advice on them, but I kinda suck at them myself. I am a very driven person. It’s hard for me to set my dreams aside. I think this is the issue my boyfriend is having with me right now. When we’re together I do spend time writing, especially if we’re just chilling. It seems right to be productive. Just being in each other’s presence is enough for me, but I’ve come to realize that it’s not the same for my boyfriend. Now that I know I can work on it.

Being in a relationship [the game] is hard work. You have to learn to accept the things that irk you the most about your partner. You have to communicate properly, even if you know that they won’t like what you have to say, you have to manage your time enough to make them feel like a priority [which is especially hard for the dreamer and entrepreneur because ambition doesn't sleep] and you’ve got to work out the issues that you will eventually end up facing no matter what it takes. So, this is why I say “Don’t hate the player; hate the game.” Don’t beat yourself up when your relationship has a setback. This is GOING to happen. Relationships really take a lot. Especially the ones that will hopefully last a lifetime. Those take an enormous amount of blood, sweat, and tears. 

When you find that person that’s worth going to the ends of the Earth for, you’ll understand that making sacrifices, chasing them, pleasing them, being mad at them, being sad together, laughing together–it’s not just one consistent area of emotions–are all a part of coming to love someone til death do you both part. Don’t take things out on your partner (unless, of course, they’re responsible), but just know that love is a hard game to play, but be the MVP. Do what’s necessary to learn the rules and win the game! Sure, you’ll foul sometimes, but never give up. If they’re worth it… NEVER give up. Here’s to lessons learned.

Peace and Love good people,

-Isis.

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