When You’ve Already Got Her

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Dear Men,

It’s been a while since we’ve talked. I didn’t mean to neglect you, but I hope you’ve been reading some of what I’ve been saying to the ladies about you. I’ve been encouraging them to come after to you a bit more than normal, but with me telling them that, it makes me feel the need to remind you all of one thing. Once you’ve got your good girl, do what’s necessary to keep her. It’s like Joe said, “All the things your man won’t do. I’ll do them for you.”

Anyway.. I was scrolling down my Instagram timeline and I saw this:

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What’s said in this little instaquote speaks volumes! What did it even more for me was the fact that my friend who posted it is very deserving a good woman, but hasn’t quite found her yet. I understood the frustration he might have felt just thinking about all the idiots who’ve got prizes on their arms and don’t treat them as such. I want to help you gents understand that if you’ve got a good girl, you should recognize that you are NOT the only man that wants or deserves her. Don’t ever think someone isn’t plotting ways to steal your golden girl or at least counting down the days until you fxck up.

I think more often than not, what happens in a relationship is that the two get comfortable and then the small things you guys once loved ends up not happening anymore. It’s like the saying says, “When you finally let someone have you, they stop doing what it took to get you.” This is how you end up catching feelings for some other girl (who really doesn’t amount to what your girl is) or you catch your girl doing the same for some other guy who is trying to sweep her off her feet.  It’s so important to treat every day like it’s the first day you both met each other in my eyes. That will help for a long, prosperous relationship.

I’ve got a few suggestions I think will help you continue to prove to her that her presence is appreciated and desired. Also, don’t think the ladies don’t read what I say to you, I’m sure they’re taking notes as well. It could happen for you too.

Write Love Letters.

Remember the feel good stage of when you first met someone you liked in 7th grade. I think just about the next day you found yourself writing a note to them and performing mild origami to make sure nobody else read your words of passion. It’s no different today. We don’t do it anymore, but I promise you it feels just as good. Sweet texts are nice to read, but nothing beats the sentiments of a hand written letter of love.

The Honeymoon Stage.

Never let ‘the honeymoon stage’ die out in your relationship. Make candle lit dinners for each other, run bubble baths. give massages–those are my ideal honeymoon stage must-haves. Find out what it is for you two and be sure to do it at least twice a month and explore new things you both will like. Everyone is always saying relationships seem so much nicer when they’re fresh because of the honeymoon stage, well I’m telling you NEVER to let it die.

Your Favorite Things

It feels good to hear what you liked about us when you first met us. It’s not a bad idea to remind her of those things that made you want to ‘wife her’. It also serves as a little reminder to her of things she wants to keep up with. If you notice she doesn’t dress as sexy as she used to when you both got together, there’s nothing wrong with saying, “baby, the way you dressed left me speechless that night I met you” or any other way you can imply that you’d like her to dress sexy again. Buying her the clothes you want to see her in is a good idea as well. 

Go On Dates.

This is a MUST. Before you both even decided on being a couple, I’m sure you guys were spending time with each other be it at the amusement park, the movies, dinner, shooting pool–whatever it was that you guys were doing in the getting to know you stage–keep doing those things. That way when someone asks your girl if she wants to go out, she won’t even think twice about saying no because she knows she’s going on dates with you. Sometimes couples are guilty of getting too comfortable and forgetting about things as simple as going out together.

Take Pictures.

Be proud of your partner. I know most guys aren’t crazy about taking photos for Instagram, but your girl loves it. I promise. Nothing makes her happier than to write some mushy quote underneath a photo of you two just to remind all the guys that are getting at her and all the girls that want you that your hers. Give her that little satisfaction because I’m sure there is something that you’ll want her to do that she isn’t too thrilled about either. You should want to make sacrifices for one another.

Have Great Sex.

Yep, I said it. You know you can always count on me to keep it all the way honest with you. If the sex life dies down for either of you, I can almost guarantee you that issues will arise soon after. Keep things exhilarating in the bedroom. Do the research, buy books, go to Spencers, ask her what she’s wanting these days and expect the same out of her. A healthy sex life is very important. I’m not going to go into detail because it isn’t necessary and we all have different likings, but find out what it is that gets her going (take note, that it could be completely different than what she wanted in the beginning of your relationship) but whatever it is, do your best to deliver.

These are just a few things I could think of off the bat, but you know what it was about her when you first met. Re-enact that day time and time again. Don’t lose a good woman behind your lack of showing her you love her. Don’t allow another man to sweep your golden girl off her feet and if you know you don’t deserve her, let her go.

From me to you.

-Isis.

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