Failing Forward

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As the song goes, it’s hard out here for a pimp. But you know what’s even harder? Being young, inexperienced, and struggling to fail forward.

Let me explain. I recently got a devastating call – the position for a summer job that I really wanted was given to someone else. I had been so prepared in my words, careful for the phrases that I said to best convey my thoughts–but it wasn’t enough. Instead, I received word about two hours later that a friend of mine got the position.

Was I upset? Of course. But a few days later, my temper (and overactive imagination) subsided, I can’t do anything but laugh.

This story isn’t unique. Actually, it’s one that’s probably been told over and over again in different forms. Some days, I get locked out of my apartment without a roommate to let me in; my computer decides not to turn on; I make an absolute fool of myself in public. And as a woman, I’m supposed to see this as faults I try to cover up like bad armpit odor. I’m supposed to be all the best parts of myself, and the girl to my left, and the girl across the hall, and… well, you get the idea.

I’m not going to lie, it is slightly embarrassing to admit some of my shortcomings on the Internet. But it’s also important to recognize because losses don’t equate a lack. For now, I’m in what feels like a limbo between certain and insecure, and I’m not quite sure how I feel about this space yet. Questions are swirling around in my head because the pressure is all around me. Where will I apply for an internship? Who is hiring for a summer job? What if no one even wants to look at my resume?

I feel like most of us have this idea that life happens according to plan. Yes, we’re supposed to be spontaneous and go with the flow. But let’s face it, sometimes it’s just satisfying to see something you created come together or to be able to cross something off of a list that you’ve been “meaning to get around to” for longer than you care to admit.

But does that mean it’s worth it?

I write this article as a reminder, because I know that I needed it. It’s a reminder that life happens beyond the planner and the coordinated actions. On my best day, I’m Carrie Bradshaw in my head but a cast member from Girl Code in reality. The outfit I always plan on wearing happens to be dirty the moment I want to wear it. And more often than not, the best parts of my life were things that I didn’t think about. They just happened, and I laughed about it later.

The truth is, no one has all the answers. Not even yourself. The moments that make you want to take a personal day, watching Netflix in bed to get your confidence back are important to acknowledge too. It is cliché, but it’s the bad days that help us to appreciate the good ones. So my advice to you: from one twentysomething Millenial still trying to figure out just about everything, to one at heart that may seem lost or confused or angry. I leave you with this..

Go out and say yes. I hope you fall on your face. Fail loudly, proudly, and bravely. Because that’s when there will be room for something amazing to happen.

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