23 Things To Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You’re 23 Response


Okie dokie, a good friend of mine tagged me in this blog post and please don’t take this as a review of her writing or blog. This is merely my response to her recommendations of things to do before getting engaged by the age of 23.

The writer from what I understand is 22 years old and travels the world a lot. Learn more about her and visit her blog here.

The first and most important clue to her misguided thought to be is as follows:

“Because at the age of 22, I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life.  And that’s awesome.

Some day, I want to get married too.  I want a floor length dress with a ton of cleavage.  I want it to be in Asia, with Ethiopian food, and a filthy scotch selection to calm my nerves when I inevitably start to panic and hyperventilate.  But WANT and NEED are two entirely different things. I NEED to develop MY dreams and MYSELF before I can truly be the type of woman you WANT to marry.”

With that being said, in her own words, I think that is the clearest difference between her thought process and mine. I just turned 23 years old November 9th, but I have fully known who Isis was since I was about 20 years old. I am a firm believer that experience is the best teacher. I have experienced plenty of real-life situations that quickly helped me to determine who I was and what I wanted out of life. Clearly, this young lady is still figuring that out. And that’s ok, but don’t make other people feel bad about getting engaged by 23 years old (which I feel is an excellent age) because you want to be married a few years before you start working on children and I want to have kids at least by the age of 28–no later.

Anyway, take a look at her list:

Please enjoy these 23 things to do instead of getting engaged before you’re 23.

  1. Get a passport.
  2. Find your “thing.”
  3. Make out with a stranger.
  4. Adopt a pet.
  5. Start a band.
  6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.
  7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage.
  8. Explore a new religion.
  9. Start a small business.
  10. Cut your hair.
  11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face.
  12. Build something with your hands.
  13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.
  14. Join the Peace Corps.
  15. Disappoint your parents.
  16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again.
  17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting.
  18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.
  19. Sign up for CrossFit.
  20. Hangout naked in front of a window.
  21. Write your feelings down in a blog.
  22. Be selfish.
  23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year.

Are you feeling like I’m feeling? Ridiculous, right? I think the two different reactions that are possible are separated by a level of maturity. Mind you, these are her suggestions to things to do INSTEAD of maturely pursuing a lifelong relationship with a person you love. Let’s not forget that that is what marriage is about despite her description of what our generation is doing by getting engaged this ‘young’. With the exception of numbers 1, 2, 9, and 12 the rest is foolishness. Sure joining the Peace Corps sounds like a great idea, but that is NOT an easy task at all. The rest of the ideas sounds like a 17 year old little girl who (just like she said) has no grasp on life–AT ALL. I think these suggestions are immature and in no way should be put before getting engaged at 23. She’s right about one thing though, if this list sounds like something you want to do, you are NOT ready for marriage at all. Maybe that was her point, IDK, but my advice… steer clear of this. Work on a long-lasting relationship because following this advice, your beau is sure to think you’ve got a whole hell of a lot of maturing to do. This is completely unacceptable for a 22 year old WOMAN.

Here are 23 things I think you should do to prepare yourself for engagement by the age of 23:

  1. Build a relationship with God.
  2. Build a relationship with yourself.
  3. Go to college.
  4. Pursue your dreams.
  5. Find a partner.
  6. Be faithful.
  7. Develop physically, mentally, and emotionally.
  8. Pray.
  9. Keep your body in shape.
  10. Eat healthy.
  11. Make a vision board.
  12. Daydream about your ‘Dream Life’.
  13. Plan a realistic way to get your dream life (or at least close to it).
  14. Honor your parents.
  15. Carry yourself like you want to get married someday.
  16. Get tested.
  17. Read, period.
  18. Think before you speak.
  19. Volunteer.
  20. Be a bridesmaid/attend a wedding ceremony.
  21. Host ‘Ladies Night’ at your place
  22. Learn about football.
  23. MATURE.

IDK, my list could be just a stupid as hers, but that’s the beauty in being entitled to your own opinions.

On a funnier note, I’d like to share the words of a dear colleague of mine who responded to this post as well:

My suggestion for completing this list: Apply for passport and sign up for crossfit online, naked in front of window. walk into bathroom, cut hair. Head to kitchen. Bake a cake from a recipe on pinterest. eat jar of Nutella while cake bakes. Google Peace Corp. Realize how hard it is get into peace corp, give up, be selfish and order earrings instead. Decide not helping people will be “your thing.” Cake is done. Eat whole cake. Write about what a gross gluttony you are in your blog. Watch Girls marathon while trying to find two decent people to date at the same time and try to purposefully fuck up both relationships, ending up alone. Buy pet to feel less lonely. Call your friends to start a band. Realize none of you have talent. Abandon idea. Google religions. Buddhism looks good. Get a tattoo of an “OM”. Totally deep. Celebrate new religion and tattoo at local bar with mates. Get drunk, make out with stranger. Wake up hungover, missing one shoe with dried vomit in your hair. Your parents are gonna be so disappointed and you just wasted a whole Saturday. List complete.” -Tia Johnson, 2014

Peace and love, dear reader.