Dear Men: Dinner and a Movie Won’t Buy You The Booty
Today’s post was brought to my attention by a friend of mine who began a conversation with me that basically asked why girls are willing to get ‘whined and dined’ without expecting to give up the goods. To me, the answer was obvious; chicks are getting more and more devious these days– most have just as much of a ‘plan’ as you fellas do. Still, he just didn’t understand why we would except expensive gifts and/or dates if we have no intention of giving up the booty and better yet, why we’re so surprised when they imply that that’s the end goal. So, I’ll let you in on a little secret about the way it works and hopefully save you a penny or two the next time you find yourself balling out of control for a girl who really has zero desire to sleep with you.
Okay, think of that initial date as the deposit or down payment. In most cases, the girl you’re taking out on a date just wants to see what you’ve got and more importantly–what you’re willing to dish out. Yes, for some that means emotions and serious intentions do tend to take a backseat to how fancy (or not) the first date is. Unfortunately, it’s up to you to realize if she is someone who just wants material things or if she is really trying to get to know you, but at the same time you need to look at your own motives as well. If you’re just looking to get some booty, then you rightfully so should get what you deserve…
I’m always encouraging you to get creative with the first date. Dinner and a movie, a bar… these are places that are always done on first dates. I mean just think about the number of guys who have probably taken her to either of these places… they are often rather expensive too–and to be honest with you, she’s likely to compare the experience you two are having with a previous experience with someone else. The more creative you are with your down payment, the more value it has the potential of holding. You may find that you end up winning a little more than you bargained for the better you do with the first date. She might actually become interested in a motive-free second date!
For some reason, it seems that a number of you fellas believe that just because you’ve taken her out once and spent a bunch of money that you’re now 1) done with the whining and dining part of pursuing her and 2) are entitled to her from there on out. WRONG. Unfortunately, getting the booty does tend to work sort of like a bill of some kind. After your down payment has been paid, you still have to keep up with the monthly bills. Basically, you have to stay invested in her. I’m not saying you should have to spend all of your money on her, but maintaining the relationship is important. That means calling her frequently, seeing her frequently, and actually building something with her. If you haven’t yet realized, consistency is KEY.
If you find that the down payment was enough for the girl your pursuing to cash in her goodies, don’t be an asshole about it. She still expects you to keep up with the monthly payments as well. If you don’t have any intentions of building anything, LET HER KNOW.
Hopefully, you’re the kind of man that never falls behind on his bills. If you are, then you know all about incentives that come from paying your bills on time. Like getting a month free or getting additional services. These are the times that she chooses to treat you for a night out or decides to cook you a special dinner at her place. The incentives don’t always come in this form, but I guarantee you… they do come if you’re good about keeping up with that monthly bill of yours. Generally by now, if you’ve done your part, she’s decided to cash in the goodies. The additional services could come in many forms–sexual fantasies, lingerie, the more intimate experiences.
This should also be the time where both you and her decide that this is a contract that the two of you would like to commit to. Remember, a relationship should be the end goal. Sex can only last you so long! If you’re not looking for a commitment, find the chick that’s made for that! Once the two of you have committed to that contract, the bills should decrease a good bit, but that doesn’t mean they just go away! It’s important to remember that whatever it took to get her, it will take that and more to keep her! Don’t sign up for a bill that you can’t afford to maintain! Hopefully, you’re looking for a lot more than just the booty… please realize that every woman comes with that! Find quality. Find someone worth investing in. Find someone worth maintaining a relationship with. Sex is just too easy to come by–go for GOLD!
I hope this helps!
From me to you,