It Was JUST Sex


A friend of mine re-posted the photo pictured below on his Instagram and I decided not to leave you guys in the dark on the situation at hand. The language is very strong for my liking, but the clean version of the message reads:

“I think men can have sex with another woman and still love his woman, but I don’t think a girl can have sex with another man and really love her man.”

Dear Men,

I am not sure if you agree with the meme pictured below or not, but seeing how many times I’ve seen it re-posted–my guess is that you do. You know my main goal is to help you understand us women a little better and today will be no different.


The statement above is COMPLETELY FALSE and a major double standard. To be honest with you, this made me laugh so hard. Let me remind you that I can only speak for WOMEN [who think] like me, but honey let me tell you, we are worse than you men half the time.

Now, first thing to recognize is, as I explained in Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin-Eater I cannot stand a cheater. Still, that doesn’t mean that people don’t do it and I won’t even go as far as saying when you love someone you don’t cheat because we as humans make mistakes and fall short of what’s right all the time. However, I will say this fellas–you’re going to end up just like Fitz from ABC’s Scandal thinking your woman can’t go out and ‘get hers‘ just as easily as you can. Let’s eliminate the whole love factor in the message and simply focus on the double standard being applied which is that men can have unattached sex and women cannot.

Women are emotional. That’s the way we are created, but that does not mean we take an emotional approach towards every situation we come up against. We like sex just as much as you do, if not more. We can lay down and ‘just have sex’ just like you can. There are times where feelings develop, yes, but don’t think that it doesn’t happen to men as well because I am a living witness. I have definitely had times where I’ve had to remind my buddy that I DO NOT have to answer text/calls just because he is sending them; that I can go out on a date with whoever I damn well please; and that, quite frankly, ‘No, this pxssy is NOT yours’ when he asks during sex. The sex is just the act. The physical act doesn’t really have much to do with the female’s emotional state. It’s the things you say and do to her at other times that cause the emotional attachment you feel she has developed because of the sex. So, if you’re one of those guys who pretends she means more to you than she really does–like what we talked about in Dear Men: Mean What You Say or Don’t Be Surprised When She Does–it is absolutely your fault that she is emotionally attached to you.

I don’t watch Scandal, but from what I got via twitter… Fitz and his side-boo Olivia have been getting theirs for quite some time now. Mellie, Fitz’ wife, finally got hers on the latest episode and Fitz was pissed. At least from what I understand, this is exactly true with you men. You can go out and do whatever it is you want to do and we should forgive you and put up with your bullshxt, but the minute we reciprocate the action you can’t be half the being we are and forgive nor forget. I’m always here to be truthful with you. I haven’t cheated on my significant others of the past, but I’ve been the woman a man cheated with and I can guarantee you that if that said person had found out his lady was doing the same thing he was doing with me… he’d probably be locked up. Ha! I’m sure that goes for most of you.

Bottom line is this. We are just as capable of having NSA sex just like you. Something else you may want to ‘up your game’ in is that we’re sneakier than you so not only are we capable of doing it, but most times we can keep at it without being found out because we go into the situation letting the guy know, “hey, it’s just sex” and trust me… he won’t argue, especially if he knows who you are.

Don’t cheat on your girlfriend, and if you do–don’t get Fitzed.

From me to you,




About Isis Nezbeth

Isis Nezbeth is a young Bohemian gonzo journalist and author. She is a proud Twentysomething Scorpio woman who is dedicated to living freely and fulfilling her destiny in life. Her passions include writing, spreading joy, and making love. If she were stranded on a desert island, she’d need her Keurig, pens, paper, and the Baduizm album to die happily–or to survive until someone rescued her. Her greatest blessings in life are her mother and siblings because even when she had nothing at all, they still made her rich beyond belief. She enjoys karaoke, spinach and mushroom pizza, and alcoholic beverages. Her end goal is to write enough to make at least three people change their life, to make a thousand people laugh, and to afford a city view and the luxury of keeping her brandy in a decanter on the mantel. IG: @IsisNezbeth

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