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You Deserve Better Than Being His ‘Almost’ Girlfriend

From TV screens to real life experiences, we’re all familiar with the storyline in which a strong, beautiful women gets her heart broken by the guy who’s “just not ready for a relationship.” And while I started to write this piece as an open-ended letter to the asshole of a man who can so selfishly engage in relationship-like behaviors only to break things off when she asks to be serious… I’m going to speak to the women who keep allowing themselves to fall for that asshole instead.

There are two things I want to acknowledge before I go any further. 1) I’m not saying that it’s 100% your fault that your heart was broken and 2) Almost all of us have been exactly where you are right now. So don’t worry, I’m not here to read you, girl, but I will tell you that it’s time to stand up for yourself. If he isn’t ready to make you his woman, then he’s not the man for you. Say it loud and say it proud, girlfriend—I’m not going to be your almost girl.

All too often do we, as women, give so much of ourselves to the man we are interested in because we’re trying to prove ourselves—assuring him that we can be everything we think he wants in a woman like that’ll be enough to make him choose you. The more I date, the more I’ve learned that men are so damn simple that it really is just a matter of wanting to be committed to someone or not for them.

There’s a reason why he was able to give the girl he dated after you the relationship he wouldn’t give you and the harsh reality of that is because he wanted to. Sure, there are contributing factors usually, but very rarely (at least this is what my male best friend told me) do they choose another girl because of how “you” she isn’t. It’s not because she’s prettier than you. It’s not because she cooks better than you. It’s a feeling, a change, a desire to be better for that particular woman and to commit to her and only her.

The truth isn’t always pretty ladies, but I feel like if we could accept this more, we would see ourselves on the other end of it instead of always wondering why some guy chose another woman over you. This is why I always say, ask for clarity. Stop being a girlfriend to the guy who won’t make you one. Stop acting like a wife to the man who doesn’t think y’all are ready to take things to the next level. You’ve got to learn to be more cutthroat about your heart. Always remember that people will treat you the way you allow them to.

Of course, I’m not saying go on one date with a guy and then force him to make a decision on whether or not you guys are in a relationship, but know how to act accordingly to whatever stage of dating that you’re in. If you’re in the beginning stages, try not to spend the night with him and vice versa. See each other on outings and dates. The more time you spend at home with him the more likely you are to start up some of those girlfriend-like behaviors too soon.

When you guys get to a point where you’re ready to take things to the next level, make sure you get the clarity you need. *TIP: If you have to ask “what are we?”, I’d abort mission as quickly as possible. If you’re not even sure what you guys are, he isn’t reciprocating the actions you should be receiving from a guy who is genuinely interested in you.*

And when it’s time to have the conversation about dating exclusively, do it with confidence, girl. Hold your head up high and let him know that you’re not going to be his almost girl. Please be clear, I’m not telling you to force him to say yes, but I do want you to let him know that almost isn’t going to cut it. Even if he says no, don’t lose that confidence. You are enough and the right man will come along—and when he does, there’s no way in hell he’d let you be an almost girl.

This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.

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14 Signs That You Really Need To Be Single AF Right Now

Filed in: Lifestyle, Wellness

One thing I had really hoped we left in 2017 was our title of being the literal worst dating generation known to mankind. Sadly, that still seems to be a thing. So, while we gear up for the official 2018 Cuffing Season, I thought it would be good to simply recap the signs that you need to be single AF right now.

Everything about people annoys you. Literally. Everything. You go out and find yourself irritated by anyone standing within a few feet of you. You have an attitude when strangers talk to you. You are horrible at taking compliments from strangers and you pretty much never initiate human interaction. And with friends? Let’s just say things aren’t much better…
You’re settling. You know it, your friends and family know it, but you keep convincing yourself that things will turn out differently than the last relationship you were in that had the same red flags. The way you see it, being with the wrong person is better than not being with anyone at all.
You don’t know how to compromise. It’s all about you. Sure, you care about your partner… just not as much as you care about your own wants and needs. You don’t see compromise as a healthy alternative to not getting your way and you have no problem throwing a temper tantrum to make sure that you do.
You’re self-centered. Yes, they say it’s hard to have someone else love you when you can’t even love yourself, but there are levels to this shit. A little modesty never hurt anybody. Don’t miss out on your soulmate because you’re too busy looking at yourself.
You’re impatient. From getting somewhere on time to setting long-term goals, your patience is really thin. You want things to happen exactly when you say they should. You don’t see where your partner is working to get to–the big picture–you can only focus on where they are now. While some wouldn’t see this as a sign of not needing to be in a relationship, I’m willing to bet otherwise. Slow and steady wins the race.
You don’t want to make sacrifices for your partner’s benefit. If you’re self-centered and impatient, it’s not likely that you’re willing to make sacrifices that benefit both you and your partner. A working, lasting relationship takes sacrifices from both parties involved. Period.
You don’t accept the concept of baggage. Even though everyone has baggage, to include yourself, you can’t seem to grasp the reality of it. You don’t want to accept that no one is perfect and you’re constantly nagging and complaining about the baggage that you knew they came with, in the first place.
You’re still in love with your ex. *rolls eyes* Like, seriously? How are you going to move on when your heart belongs to someone else? Take time to heal, baby. You owe it to yourself and you will surely thank yourself later.
You need to work on yourself. You don’t not want love, you just want to learn to love yourself right now. You want to get closer to your goals. You want to get closer to God. You just want to get your shit together… there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You have major trust issues. If you can’t trust, you can’t do relationships. I’m not saying anything else about it. Stay single. Bottom line.
You’re not a member of the Self-Love Club. You only see your value when someone else points it out to you. You struggle with self-identity and even more with self-love. If you can’t love you, how do you expect someone else to?
You hold your ex’s past against any potential partner. You go into every new relationship expecting your new partner to make the same mistakes that your old partner made. You readily accuse them of doing the same things even when it’s very clear that they haven’t. You’re not ready to let the hurt go, which means you’re not ready to move on.
You can’t reciprocate the things you’re asking for in a relationship. You want trust, loyalty, love, forgiveness… all of the above, but you can’t dish it out in return. You want great sex, support, and cooked meals, but you can’t provide any of that either. Righhhht.
You just want to be single. You’re out here living your best life and you don’t need a partner to do it. You have your bros or your girl squad and right now that’s more than enough love for you. As long as you’re genuinely happy, do you boo-boo!

If you’ve found yourself in any of the previously mentioned, just take a beat. Doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t find love. It just means that for right now you just need to be single AF, boo.

This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.

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10 Little Love Letters I’ll Never Actually Send

Filed in: Relationships

If I had a dollar for every time I wrote a love letter I didn’t send, I wouldn’t be freelancing for a living… here’s a few you can borrow if you’re ever at a loss for words.

Roses are red, violets are blue. The only place I want to be is right here with you.
I never would have imagined that I could be this happy in such a short amount of time. Whether we make it to the end of next week or the end of time, I’m glad I had the opportunity to be yours.
I smile every single time I think about you. Every. Damn. Time.
This is just a note to say thank you. Thank you for the sweet gestures. Thank you for putting up with my occasional shitty attitude and bratty ways. Thank you for being you. I love you.
I’m sitting here trying to figure out how the hell I let you get away from me. Love can be such a scary thing when it’s deep and passionate. While I’m glad to see you happy, losing you will always be one of my biggest regrets. Hopefully, the cosmos will align us together sometime in another lifetime.
I know we are still in the honeymoon phase, but I love the giddy feeling I get just from the mention of your name. I love talking about you. I love talking to you. I love the way you make me ugly laugh. I. Just. Love. You.
There are a million things I wish I would have said to you before we fell apart. I was just angry because I wanted so bad for us to make it as close to forever as we possibly could. I’m thankful for the memories we’ve made together. I hold them close to my heart as long as I live.
It wasn’t really love at first sight for me like you said it was for you, but slowly but surely you crept your way into my heart and I don’t ever want that to change. The very things that used to bug the hell out of me are now the very things I never want to live without. You make my heart sing, weirdo. Thank you for being you.
I’ll never change to make you happy, but I promise to constantly work on me so that I can continue to be a better, wiser version of the ‘me’ that you fell in love with. You bring out the best in me and I’m so thankful for that.
There are a billion and one people on the planet and of all of them, my soul can’t let go of you.

This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.

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How To Revive Yourself After A Bad Breakup

Filed in: Relationships, Wellness

We’ve all been through a really bad breakup.

As lovely as it would be for every relationship to have ended in ‘Happily Ever After’, it doesn’t always happen that way. The trick is to turn your failures into lessons and create the ultimate success story–not perfect, but who wants that perfect love story anyway?

These tools are for your self-growth, to become empowered instead of bitter, and to take responsibility instead of falling victim.

Tiana is the only woman in history that only had to kiss one frog to get it right!

Take responsibility. One person is not always to blame for a failure in a relationship. It may have been the other person’s fault that you are not together–know the difference between fault and responsibility–but take this breakup as a chance for some reflection. No one is perfect. There’s a chance you weren’t exactly a walk in the park either. If you’re friends with your ex-lover, talk about where you both could have been better so it benefits the next person you pursue. Plus, was it even a real relationship if you don’t wish the best for them after you? Let’s be the bigger person here. There is always room for growth. Relationships take practice, and practice makes perfect (kinda), but the more we are self-aware of our own flaws, the more likely we are to having more fulfilling relationships.
Know your worth. A common side effect to breakups is a bruised ego. Don’t let it keep you down, and more importantly don’t lower your standards. There are many ways to remind yourself of who you are. After a breakup, keep building. Go to the gym, get your nails done, go out with your boys, have brunch with your girls–whatever it is that you need to do not to spiral into a pit of low self-esteem, DO IT. That downward spiral is dangerous, not only for your mental wellbeing but for who you attract. Let’s not pretend everyone out here has good intentions. Low self-esteem will attract the worst of the worst and the last thing you need after a bad breakup is an even worse rebound. You did not decrease in value because you lost a significant other.
Take one time to yourself. One of the biggest mistakes a lot of us make is going from one person to another after a breakup. I don’t care what you heard, getting under someone new is not the best way to get over your ex. Realigning yourself with your inner being is going to give you exactly what you need. You just spent a big chunk of time doing life with someone, taking how they feel into consideration for everything you do, making plans based off their plans… aren’t you tired of taking someone else into consideration all the time? Take this breakup as an opportunity to grow in whatever direction you choose, without being concerned if someone will accept your journey. It can get lonely sometimes, but it is impossible to expect someone to love being with you if you can’t even love being with yourself. Until you are aware of who you are, you could never love someone the way they deserve, and you’re just setting yourself up for a never-ending cycle of breakups. Take some time to be alone.
Give yourself the love you give out. This point may sound repetitive, but that’s how important it is. Knowing your worth requires loving yourself the way you love others. Taking time to yourself requires taking the time to love yourself. Invest in yourself. Write that blog and dote about how amazing you are after reading it 100 times. Buy a canvas and paint until the crack of dawn so you can hang your work in your own living room. Pay down your debts. Go on adventures. Instead of being so eager to fall in love with someone else, set the example for how you want to be loved by loving yourself.

Breakups can take little chunks of who we are with every person that leaves and that’s okay. Grow new pieces of yourself. Be better than who you were when you were with them. So, throw out the Kleenex and leave bitterness behind you. You are just one step closer to being your best self.

Did you enjoy reading this? SHARE the article for someone else who might need it and find other wellness articles here.

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This Is Me Saying Hello To The Possibility Of Us

Filed in: Relationships

I’m scared, excited, turned on, hopeful, and full of a bunch of other emotions I’m going to try my best to explain here. There’s one thing you should remember when dealing with a woman like me. It was a conscious decision of mine to even entertain getting to know you. That might sound a little bitchy, but what I’m trying to say is, we’re a possibility because I wanted us to be. If we weren’t a possibility because I shot my shot in the first place, we’re definitely a possibility because of the decision I made to bite whatever bait you were offering up. While all of that may be confusing, there’s one thing you don’t need to question yourself about. I like you. I like you a lot. While I may not articulate it well or make it obvious, I like the idea of me and you–an ‘us.’

This is me saying hello to the possibility of us.

The truth is, I’m scared as hell to fall for you, but I can’t stop myself from doing so. There’s something about you that’s had my attention from ‘hello.’ Sometimes I can put my finger on it and other times, I can’t. Still, I can’t shake that feeling. It’s like more I like you the more I tell myself not to. That love and relationships are always risky and heartbreaking… and then you do that one thing that makes me say, fuck it. He’s worth it. So please forgive me when I seem a little distant. It’s not your fault; I’m trying to keep my shit together. I’m trying to balance being scared of how I’m feeling and showing those feelings at the same time.

I know you might think it silly of me to be scared of just the possibility of us, but the possibility of ‘us’ comes in a pretty vivid picture for me. It’s no secret that I fall hard and fast, but I do that because of the hopefulness I’m filled with. That’s me, the hopeful, hopeless romantic. You have to be honest, right now monogamy and finding ‘true love’ almost feel like a fantasy these days. So many people in our generation “aren’t looking for anything serious” or are too “woke” to appreciate the traditional ways of doing things, so finding someone who awakens that desire for love inside of me gets my brain going. It starts that vivid picture of you and me that I can’t help but to fall in love with.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m down for taking things slow, but I expect this to actually lead something serious. I want to be clear, while I’m hopeful that ‘us’ would be defined as a relationship, I know some guys like to pull that ‘us’ shit without the “complication of any titles” and I’m not for that. ‘Us’ will mean just that. You and me in a relationship that will hopefully be fruitful and serious in time. So yes, let’s take our time and court each other. Let’s spend time getting to know each other. Let’s wait awhile before going to the next level, but let’s make it a goal to get to the next level. I”m not rushing you or pressuring you, but we’re both grown and I’m always going to speak up for what I want and I want you–all of you.

This is me saying hello to the possibility of us.

This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.

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Maybe He’s Not A Fuckboy, Maybe You’re Just Projecting

Filed in: Relationships

A good friend of mine made a statement that really left me thinking the other night. He said that women have a tendency to deflect when they start catching feelings for a guy that we find a little intimidating or hard to get. I didn’t want to agree with him at first, but then I really gave it some thought and I had to agree. Sometimes when we start catching feelings for a man that we have reservations about, we will do whatever it takes to shake those feelings or send them in the opposite direction. This can happen a lot when you stereotype or prejudge a man before really getting to know him, so much so that when you actually do get to know him, you’re prone to deflect simply because you’ve already placed him into a box he might not even fit in. So, let’s clear some things up that might help us refrain from doing so because the truth of the matter is this… maybe he’s not a fuckboy, maybe you’re just projecting.

Not all guys who are attractive (or overly attractive) are fuckboys.

I’ll go ahead and say it just in case no one else wants to. Pursuing, dating, or even simply talking to a very attractive or even overly attractive guy can be intimidating AF. It’s hard to tell your mind that you’re the “only one” in his life, when he’s just so damn well-groomed, well-dressed, charismatic, and catching the eye of every woman that he walks by. I get it, sis! Nevertheless, you can’t just assume that he’s a fuckboy and that he’ll play you. Give him a chance, just stay alert.

Wanting to get back in the dating game without wanting something serious doesn’t make him a fuckboy.

No matter how much that reality hurts, it’s so important to understand that you can date without wanting a serious commitment right now. All too often do we take the response “I’m not looking for anything serious right now” as an excuse to be a player, but maybe he’s not being a player…maybe he just doesn’t want to be in a serious relationship right now. The way I see it, he’s being honest and at least you know what you’re getting into. It also doesn’t mean that your connection with him will only be sexual. The dating process is extremely critical to being in a successful committed relationship when you both are ready.

Maybe he really is too busy to call and text you all day; that doesn’t make him a fuckboy.

This is generally one of the main reasons we will write a guy off as being a fuckboy because we have that theory that “people make time for what they want to make time for” in our head. Although the latter is true, there are exceptions and some people really are too busy to talk or text all day long. In my opinion, if he always responds when he can and has a valid reason behind why he couldn’t answer earlier, all is forgiven, especially when he is fully engaged in the conversation when you all are able to talk.

If he’s honest about what he wants with you and you still decide to have a sexual relationship with him, you’re not allowed to call him a fuckboy later.

Okay, sis, hear me out. First off, I’m not saying that the world is crawling with fuckboys; it’s no mystery that they’re out there. However, if the guy you’re dealing with fits into all of the things that I’ve previously mentioned and is in fact not a fuckboy, he just doesn’t want anything serious right now, that doesn’t mean a sexual relationship is off limits. This is when you have to check yourself and be honest with what YOU are capable of dealing with. If he’s been upfront about everything and you decide to fall deeper in your feelings by way of a sexual relationship, you can’t call him a fuckboy simply because he didn’t give you what you wanted in the long run. *shrugs*

Maybe he’s not a fuckboy, maybe you’re just projecting.

This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.

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Sometimes I’m Afraid To Just Have Faith

Filed in: Wellness

Can I tell you a secret? It’s a big one. Even though my faith in God is everlasting and I truly believe that He will direct my path, life can get extremely overwhelming and downright scary at times–and because of that, sometimes I’m afraid to just “have faith.” You know how you’ll be worried about something and a friend or family member will be like, “It’s going to be okay. You just gotta have faith.” I mean, what if it’s not okay? What if things don’t work out? I know I shouldn’t think like this, but sometimes I do. Let’s be real here. Life comes at your fast and in an instant, you can be contemplating what the world would be like if you weren’t in it, if you know what I mean. I’ve been there and I don’t want that for you! So, what do you do when you start to doubt God (or whatever you believe in) and you start finding it really hard to just have faith? Here’s what’s worked best for me.

It’s human to be afraid to trust. One of the simplest and easiest ways I get through being afraid to have faith is recognizing that it’s natural for me to feel this way. It doesn’t mean I need to linger on the feeling, but instead, I should discern ways to find the courage to trust. I know it seems really redundant, but the people who have felt the way I have will understand.
You’ve got to do your part. For a long time, I didn’t understand that getting help from God didn’t come simply from asking. I had to learn that the only way to truly hear the answers to the questions I had, was to eliminate much of the noise and distractions that kept me from hearing them in the first place. I had to do my part. Yes, there are a ton of things I can do better in life to live more like He would want me to, but I’m definitely not where I used to be and I believe I serve a God who knows and recognizes that. In other words, nobody is perfect and God knows your heart, but you’ve got to sacrifice some things in order to be in the best standing you can be with Him.
Solicit strength and support from others. Difficult things are always easier to do when you have someone to share the experience with. You may not be getting support from others who understand your situation exactly, but most of your close friends and family members will stand behind you and encourage you to have faith no matter what. It will make the wait a lot less lonely and if you’re anything like me, you find a certain peace from the comfort of those closest to you.
Trust the plan and trust the process. At the end of the day, no matter how afraid you might be to just have faith, you’ve got to muster up the strength to exactly that. You’ve got to trust God’s plan and your process. Yes, it’s scary not knowing how things turn out–I get that, but you’ve got to find a way to identify the steps you’re taking towards figuring things out. Give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made already and stay patient about where else your journey will lead you.
Stay focused and stay positive. No matter how bad things look to you, it’s incredibly important to keep your eye on the prize. The more energy you put towards focusing on your goals the less energy you have to focus on where you are now. It’s the same with positive thinking. If you’re putting ample energy into staying in a positive mindset, it’ll be a lot harder to fall into that negative sinkhole of thoughts you’ve probably fallen into before.

It’s perfectly normal to feel like it’s impossible to just have faith when it seems like your world is crashing down, but I promise you… if I can do it, you can too. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that it’ll be easy–it won’t. It will be challenging. The fear of the unforeseen might even make you cry from time to time, but you’re stronger than any negative thought you might have. As long as you have the breath of life, you have enough to push through and keep the faith. So, no matter how afraid you are to just have the faith, do it anyway. You’ll be just fine.

Did you enjoy reading this? SHARE the article for someone else who might need it and find other wellness articles here.

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This Self-Love Soul Glow Makes Moving On A Breeze

Filed in: Wellness

WTF is a self-love soul glow, right?

Relationships can be a real pain in the ass, this much is true. Every now and then I’ll evaluate my failed relationships and at first, I’ll start feeling like… “well, it must have been something I did,” but you know what? It’s not always me, period. I move fast and I fall hard most times–there’s no doubt about that–but that is because I trust that people tell more truth than they lie. I almost always find out how untrue that is, but it’s just in my nature to believe in the good in people. I do my best to remain honest and true in who I am and what I say at all times, so I assume others do the same. The way I see it, fake is a full-time job that I just don’t have time for. Regardless of what people think about people who aren’t afraid to move on within a few months of a breakup, heartbreak hurts every time–especially when you believe someone to be something that they’re not. Nevertheless, when your self-love is on point… it’s really not impossible to move on with ease. Here’s my guide to a self-love soul glow that can change a lot about your look on love and life! Let’s get into it!

I’ll admit to falling fast and hard, but I move on even faster. It may take a while for me to be done with trying to make my relationship work, but that’s why when I’m done…I. AM. DONE. No more chances, no looking back. I’ve literally done everything I can do to make things better, I mean I’ve exhausted all options! When that’s not enough for the other person involved, what’s worth saving? My self-love soul glow is so on fleek, in fact, that the minute I find out I’m not being loved and treated the way I deserve to be, I’m out.
I give myself the love I’m looking for from others and that’s why it’s never hard for me to move on. No matter how much I love the person I’m dating at the time, I always love myself more. I’ve been in a full-time committed relationship with myself for a very long time now and that’s not going to change no matter who I choose to commit to. It took some time to convince myself that I wasn’t being selfish by loving myself so much, but now that I’ve come to that understanding we’re healthier than ever.
When you look good, you feel good. It’s as simple as it sounds. Spend time finding the beauty of you from the inside-out. Your very existence is a gift from God. He made you EXACTLY the way you should be. Embrace more of what you love about yourself. Say yes to the bold appearance you keep burying within. Not to say that it has to be a drastic change, but whatever you need to do to feel like the shit… do it. You deserve to feel like your absolute best and appearance shouldn’t be left out.
Learn how to accept the damn compliment. I can’t stand when people don’t know how to take a compliment. If you’re making sure that you look your best, other people are going to notice. If you’re all jazzed up on the outside, but ugly as hell on the inside then that’s not going to work out. I get that taking compliments can be difficult considering how Millennials “shoot their shot” versus give compliments, but don’t read too much into things, just be kind and always say thank you!
Take yourself on dates. Don’t forget to take yourself on dates. Self-confidence is the key ingredient to self-love. If you really want to show you that you love you, take yourself somewhere you’re forced to enjoy your own company. It’ll be easy for most to take yourself out for dinner or drinks, but don’t stop there. Find something exotic, invigorating, intriguing, unique–wow yourself just like you expect the people who are interested in you to do when they take you out on a date.
Know that it’s okay to spoil yourself. No, it’s not a good habit to splurge on any and everything, but I don’t see anything wrong with spoiling yourself a bit. Nothing says I love you like a thoughtful gift or note of love. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that courtship only applies to romantic relationships. You can and should get into the habit of courting yourself as well! You’ll be shocked at how much it’ll mean to you even if you are the one doing the sweet things for yourself.
Give yourself the other type of self-love… often. Masturbation is healthy and you shouldn’t be ashamed of doing it! Personally, I think giving yourself this kind of self-love really has an impact on your self-love soul glow. You don’t always have to let other people into your sexual life in order to have one or enjoy one. I’m not saying that after a while I don’t miss the real thing, but if I can find the time to seek out the things I love about myself physically and emotionally, I can find out what I like sexually also.
Never compromise your self-love soul glow for anyone or anything. When you start taking the time necessary to give yourself proper self-care, you’ll realize how protective and selective you are of your time and energy. Initially, you might feel bad about it because you’ll learn that you’re going to have to separate yourself from different people, places, or things–but never forget that you are worth that. You deserve to live your best life and choosing to love yourself unconditionally is truly an essential step to doing just that.

You will be surprised how people respond to you after you’ve grown to know and love yourself. Your self-love soul glow will literally be intoxicating. People will want to know what you’re eating, who you’re sleeping with, how long your sleeping and whatever else reminds them of living your best life. Embrace it! Keep on loving you boo. Be proud of your body, your mind, your talents, your flaws… literally everything that is the very making of you and don’t let anybody get a taste of your energy who can’t do the same!

Got any self-love soul glow tips to share with us? SHARE in a COMMENT below.

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9 Foolproof Ways To Live Your Best Life

Filed in: Wellness

“Living my best life” has become a go-to mantra and photo caption for many–and for good reason! In a world where we fear sending our babies to school, racism is back in the forefront of our everyday lives, and Donald Trump is still the president, it is a constant reminder that tomorrow is not promised and that we should seize the moment whenever we’re given the opportunity to. Still, some people struggle with how to actually achieve living your best life. As someone who feels that, for the most part, I do strive to live my best life daily, here are 9 foolproof ways to live your best life without much effort beyond these tips! Let’s get into it!

Find your faith. This is by far the first step of living my best life. It’s simple really. There is a divine peace you get from growing closer with God–or whomever you believe in. No, I’m not perfect–nowhere near it–but I love the Lord and I do my best to glorify Him as often as I can. There’s a sense of fulfillment I get from chasing God. I never try to push Him on anyone, I just like to stand as an example of His Love, His Power, and His Might. I try to fulfill the purpose He gave me by using the gifts He bestowed on me daily. I promise, if you try it, it’ll blow your mind.
Fall in love with yourself. I have a secret to tell y’all. I love me some Isis Nezbeth. Throughout life, I have experienced several things that used to allow me to think some really ugly things about myself. Finding my faith helped me to let go of those ugly thoughts and to embrace self-love. Falling in love with myself fueled me to do pretty much everything. I began to understand that it was absolutely okay to make Isis happy. That’s when I started to chase my dreams. I stopped worrying about what other’s thought of me and started focusing on what I thought of me–which was improving by the day. I’ve been my best friend pretty much ever since.
Be genuinely kind to others. Don’t you just hate it when someone does something good for someone else because of what they expect to get out of it? I do, too. I learned a very long time ago that “you reap what you sow.” In my 27 years of life, I believe this to be 100% true. If you do kind things to people and you’re genuinely putting out positive vibes, you will reap exactly that.
Change the things that make you unhappy. It’s pretty much impossible to live your best life when you’re doing things that make you unhappy. You have to get rid of dead weight and negative energy in order to truly live your best life. If you’re in a relationship that is toxic or unhealthy, end it. It doesn’t even have to be toil or unhealthy in all honesty. Nevertheless, if it’s making you unhappy you should free yourself. This could also be a job. It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as you change the things you know are causing your unhappiness. You deserve the absolute best in everything.
Accept the things that you can’t change and make peace with them. As easy as I might have made it sound to change the things that make you unhappy, we have to recognize that there will be some things that make you unhappy that you can’t change. It’s not the end of the world though. What you have to do when you find yourself in this position is to make accept the flaws or circumstances and make peace with them. It is incredibly important to do this in order to achieve your best life. It is so hard to move forward when you’re stuck in the past. Find that inner peace, boo.
Celebrate the things you do well. I used to forget about this a lot, but I’ve realized since living my best life that I have to celebrate myself. I have to acknowledge the things I’ve accomplished, the progress I make, the lessons I learn–everything. I had to learn to be my biggest cheerleader. Of course, after conquering the things previously mentioned, this becomes a lot easier to do that it might seem to you right now. I used to be in the place that you might be in where you’re questioning… what’s so good about me? What do I really have to celebrate? I know you’ve got plenty to celebrate though. If not, I’ll start you off. Just the fact that you clicked on this article to learn more about how to live your best life is an accomplishment. It’s a starting point and that is always something to celebrate.
Cherish your family and friends. I’m a firm believer that friends are the family you choose. So, overall you only get one family. It’s important to cherish each and every relationship that helps to mold you into the person you’re coming to know, love, and be. Don’t spend your days holding petty grudges or missing out on quality time because of the excuse that you don’t have the time. Living your best life includes being full in love too. You need to be around your love source! Make time for the important things… like family and friends.
Take risks. At the end of the day, the greatest thing I’ve done since living my best life has been my ability to take risks! I adore the place I’m in mentally when I’m focusing on the things that keep me happy and healthy. They make me feel like I can take on anything! Use this feeling! I’m telling you, when you get into the zone where you’re making your best effort to live your best life, you will begin to take risks that you’ve always wanted to but were always too afraid to try. It will shed so much like on all the open doors that you thought were closed in your life.
LIVE. In order to live your best life… you’ve got to live darlin’! You have to get used to doing exciting things, taking risks, making new friends, cherishing old ones, embarking on new journeys–everything! Promise me that when you make that commitment to live your best life, that you’ll actually live like your life is truly at it’s best, k? Cheers to life, girlfriend.

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There’s A Difference Between A Busy Friend And A Bad Friend

Filed in: Lifestyle, Wellness

As an entrepreneur and a first-time mom, I’m really hard on myself about my upkeep of friendships. I am really, really bad at calling back. I think if any of my friends could pick the one thing that I’m terrible at, that would be it. It’s not because I don’t want to call back or that I don’t enjoy our phone calls… I’m just busy. Busy with life, busy with being a mom, busy with trying to run a business… that kind of busy. I have a lot of friends who are in the same boat and I never chastise them for not being able to give me more of their time than they actually can. There’s a difference between a bad friend and busy friend and this is it.

A busy friend will designate time, a bad friend is unavailable.

Some people take offense to a person who says, “let me check my schedule,” but I literally have to check my schedule to make sure I’m not double booking myself or selling you short on time. Be lenient with your busy friends in this area. A bad friend just won’t be available. They don’t even take the time to try to find a window that will work for the two of you to get together.

A busy friend is late to the party, a bad friend never shows.

The busy friend is not going to go out every time they’re invited. They just can’t, but that doesn’t stop them from coming out occasionally. Yes, they will probably get there late and leave early, but they’re going to come. A bad friend won’t show at all. Yes, I know you might be thinking it’s silly to point this out, but the turn up is important too! It’s important to celebrate and have a good time together while we’re young!

A busy friend makes major events, a bad friend makes excuses.

Again, the busy friend can’t make it to many things, but they’re not going to miss the important stuff. They’re not going to miss engagements, baby showers, birthdays, even Super Bowl Sunday if that’s a tradition that the two of you share. A bad friend won’t make anything but excuses.

A busy friend supports, a bad friend “suggests.”

I was doing my best to be clever with my words here, but let me elaborate. A busy friend is still going to find time to support you in your endeavors. They’re going to build you up and share it with others. A bad friend is simply going to “suggest” what you should’ve done. They’re not very supportive, but they always have two cents to add.

A busy friend responds, a bad friend leaves you on ‘read.’

Jesus be a response! A busy friend might respond days later to a text that you sent them, but they will respond! A bad friend will leave you on ‘read’ showing you that they clearly read your message as soon as you sent it. Then have the nerve to text you later asking for something. Tuh!

A busy friend is loyal, a bad friend gossips.

No matter the distance or time, a busy friend is down for the cause. They are loyal. They don’t switch up just because the two of you don’t talk every day. A bad friend will find more time to talk about you than they will to hang out with you.

A busy friend wants to be around, but they’re limited… a bad friend limits your time with them.

A busy friend has no desire to be so busy that they can’t spend time with the people they love. Although their time is limited, they cherish what time they do get to spend with you. They don’t allow those limitations to limit your friendship. A bad friend limits your time with them. It’s just about the only time they stick to a strict schedule and they don’t let you forget about the little time they do make for you.

Choose your friends wisely and don’t be too hard on your busy friend who truly is a good friend!

This article was originally written by Editor-in-chief of Prime Fifty-Two, Isis Nezbeth, and can also be seen on Thought Catalog.

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