The Truth About Shacking Up 1

livng together

That’s right… we’re tackling it today!

“Shacking up”, if you haven’t heard, is the term old school’s used when two partners live together without being married. It is a lot more common in our time today than it used to be back then. It was never really looked upon highly then and to be honest, it still isn’t looked upon highly by many people today. My fiance and I live together currently and I think it’s a much needed journey to take when you’re planning on being with someone for the long run. I know… I know. Not everyone thinks it’s a great idea and in fact, plenty of people think it ruins relationships–but as usual… you know I’m always willing to explain my reasons behind my decisions. Here are a few truths about shacking up.  Let’s get into it!

Your clean vs. Their clean

Be mindful that when you’re living with someone, you will notice a many more differences than just how clean you or your partner thinks something is, but this is definitely one of the more noticeable differences between you and them. It may be that both of you think it’s fine to put dishes in the dishwasher, but one of you may prefer that the dishes are rinsed before putting them in the dishwasher and the other will think it’s completely acceptable to just toss ’em in as-is and run the machine.

Your sex drive vs. Their sex drive

Sex is a huge part of being in a relationship. I think we can all agree on this fact–especially with our generation. When you’re not living together it may seem that both of your sex drives are high, but that’s because you’re hungry for one another when you’ve been away from each other for a while (hopefully). When you’re living together though, you’ll notice whose sex drive is stronger. It doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker or a bad thing, but it is definitely something you’ll figure out much sooner than later in the process of shacking up.

Your tasks vs. Their tasks

This can be very annoying to learn, but when you both get into the swing of things it will be one of those things that make living together that much better. For example, I don’t even waste my breathe asking my fiance to do the laundry–it’s just not his thing. AT ALL. At the same time, he knows not to even look my way when it comes to doing any type of handy work. If it’s not cooking or cleaning or something of that nature… I don’t really look at it as something that needs my undivided attention. Now, I’m always willing to help him with his tasks, but he knows that the responsibility is his and his alone to tackle and accomplish. It’s a system–and for us, it works just great. It keeps us responsible for the individual areas that make our house a home.

Your side of the bed vs. Their side of the bed

First things first, you’ll definitely feel like there is no such thing as ‘your side of the bed’. Despite what every person who has never lived with their partner may think… pretty soon that “let’s cuddle ourselves to sleep every night” feeling will devour itself. When you live together, it’s a whole lot easier to kiss each other goodnight, turn your backs to one another, and whisk away peacefully into a deep sleep. Don’t be fooled. Still, there will be those times after a bad day or great sex that cuddling to sleep is 100% necessary, but it’s certainly not an every night kind of thing.

Dealing with your issues at home.

One of the most valuable traits I find in living with my fiance is that we are unable to run away from our issues. We make it a point, as cliche as it may seem, not to go to bed mad at one another. When you’re not living with your partner, you’ll find that it’s really easy not to respond to an angry text or to just stay away from your partner while you’re angry with them–but when you two are under the same room that’s not really an option. Find value in this. It’s really a good thing for the longevity of your relationship.

Yours, Mine–OURS.

When you’re not living under the same roof, it’s very easy to look at things in the “yours vs. mine” perspective. Beautifully, when the two of you combine your living space, you’ll watch the evolution of what once was yours or theirs grow into what belongs to you both. Whether it’s wearing their t-shirts as sleep clothes, sharing a bank account or learning to grocery shop for the both of you instead of always fast-fooding things… you’ll notice and love the integration of your possessions and lifestyle as a whole.

Whether or not this is going to work.

Ultimately, you’re going to learn your partner in a way you probably never thought imaginable. Which–whether or not you like the outcome–is going to show you whether or not this person is the one. This, to me, is the main reason people are scared to make this step and level of commitment. It’s definitely a necessary, but difficult step to make when in a relationship. Most times, one of you will want this more than the other, but every now and then… the cosmos align and things end up working out in a way you couldn’t believe. You’ll see that not too much beats coming home to the person you love, whether you just had the best or worst day of your life.


I’m always doing my best to share with you my inner-most deepest thoughts and realities and this entry is nothing different. Shacking up is indeed a challenge, but when you’re able to work through the small difficulties, you’ll  stumble upon a life that is just perfect. At least perfect for the two of you–and if you find that it’s not, that is something to be happy about too. Divorce sucks–or so I’ve heard. So test the waters. Try it out. I won’t judge you.

 I mean, after all, I am your biggest supporter.

Peace, love, and light, dear reader.


About Isis Nezbeth

Isis Nezbeth is a fresh, free-spirited freelance writer and author. She is a proud Twentysomething Scorpio woman who is dedicated to living freely and fulfilling her destiny in life. Her passions include writing, spreading joy, and making love. If she were stranded on a desert island, she’d need her Keurig, pens, paper, and the Baduizm album to die happily–or to survive until someone rescued her. Her greatest blessings in life are her family because even when she had nothing at all, they still made her rich beyond belief. She enjoys karaoke, spinach and mushroom pizza, and alcoholic beverages. Her end goal is to write enough to make at least three people change their life, to make a thousand people smile, and to some day afford a city view with the luxury of keeping her brandy in a decanter on the mantel. Connect with Isis @IsisNezbeth on social media networks.

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  • Yatta

    Writing is a passion of the heart. With each article I read, I can truly say it well expressed so that many can relate and give thought to. You my dear are a true writer with judgement being the last entry to never come across. I enjoy each entry and hope that your words reach many. You speak what others think and some are afraid to speak on. You give life to every topic and a little bit of Isis in each post. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more from my favorite. Love you Goddess!