self-love, black woman smiling in sunflower field

WTF is a self-love soul glow, right?

Relationships can be a real pain in the ass, this much is true. Every now and then I’ll evaluate my failed relationships and at first, I’ll start feeling like… “well, it must have been something I did,” but you know what? It’s not always me, period. I move fast and I fall hard most times—there’s no doubt about that—but that’s because I trust that people tell more truth than they do lies.

I almost always find out how untrue that is, but it’s just in my nature to believe in the good in people. I do my best to remain honest and true in who I am and what I say at all times, so I assume others do the same. The way I see it, fake is a full-time job that I just don’t have time for. Regardless of what people think about people who aren’t afraid to move on within a few months of a breakup, heartbreak hurts every time. Especially when you believe someone to be something that they’re not. Nevertheless, when your self-love is on point… it’s really not impossible to move on with ease. Here’s my guide to a self-love soul glow that can change a lot about your look on love and life! Let’s get into it!

I’ll admit to falling fast and hard, but I move on even faster.

It may take a while for me to be done with trying to make my relationship work, but that’s why when I’m done…I. AM. DONE. No more chances, no looking back. I’ve literally done everything I can do to make things better, I mean I’ve exhausted all options! When that’s not enough for the other person involved, what’s worth saving? My self-love soul glow is so on fleek, in fact, that the minute I find out I’m not being loved and treated the way I deserve to be… I’m out.

I give myself the love I’m looking for from others and that’s why it’s never hard for me to move on.

No matter how much I love the person I’m dating at the time, I always love myself more. I’ve been in a full-time committed relationship with myself for a very long time now and that’s not going to change no matter who I choose to commit to. My self-love can never be replaced by the love of someone else. It took some time to convince myself that I wasn’t being selfish by loving myself so much, but now that I’ve come to that understanding I’m healthier than ever.

When you look good, you feel good.

It’s as simple as it sounds. Spend time finding the beauty of you from the inside-out. Your very existence is a gift from God. He made you EXACTLY the way you should be. Embrace more of what you love about yourself. Say yes to the bold appearance you keep burying within. Not to say that it has to be a drastic change, but whatever you need to do to feel like the shit… do it. You deserve to feel like your absolute best and your appearance shouldn’t be left out of that.

Learn how to accept the damn compliment.

I can’t stand when people don’t know how to take a compliment. If you’re making sure that you look your best, other people are going to notice. It doesn’t do any good for you to be all jazzed up on the outside, but ugly as hell on the inside. Don’t get me wrong, I get that taking compliments can be difficult considering how Millennials “shoot their shot” instead of handing out harmless compliments, but don’t read too much into things. Just be kind and always say thank you!

Take yourself on dates.

Don’t forget to take yourself on dates. Self-confidence is the key ingredient to self-love. If you really want to show yourself some love, take yourself somewhere that you’re forced to enjoy your own company. It’ll be easy for most to take yourself out for dinner or drinks, but don’t stop there. Find something exotic, invigorating, intriguing—I mean, really “wow” yourself just like you expect the people who are interested in you to do when they take you out on a date.

Know that it’s okay to spoil yourself.

No, it’s not a good habit to splurge on any and everything, but I don’t see anything wrong with spoiling yourself a bit. Nothing says ‘I love you’ like a thoughtful gift or note of love. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that courtship only applies to romantic relationships. You can and should get into the habit of courting yourself as well! You’ll be shocked at how much it’ll mean to you even if you are the one doing the sweet things for yourself.

Give yourself the other type of self-love… often.

Masturbation is healthy and you shouldn’t be ashamed of doing it! Nothing says “self-love” like a little self love. Personally, I think giving yourself this kind of self-love really has an impact on your self-love soul glow. You don’t always have to let other people into your sexual life in order to have one or enjoy one. I’m not saying that after a while you don’t miss the real thing, but if you can find the time to seek out the things you love about yourself physically and emotionally, you can find out what you like sexually also.

Never compromise your self-love soul glow for anyone or anything.

When you start taking the time necessary to give yourself proper self-care, you’ll realize how protective and selective you are of your time and energy. Initially, you might feel bad about it because you’ll learn that you’re going to have to separate yourself from different people, places, or things–but never forget that you are worth that. You deserve to live your best life and choosing to love yourself unconditionally is truly an essential step to doing just that.

You will be surprised how people respond to you after you’ve grown to know and love yourself. Your self-love soul glow will literally be intoxicating. People will want to know what you’re eating, who you’re sleeping with, how long your sleeping and whatever else they think you’re doing to achieve this soul glow. Embrace it! Keep on loving you, boo. Be proud of your body, your mind, your talents, your flaws… literally everything that is the very making of you and don’t let anybody get a taste of your energy who can’t do the same!

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