You Want to Put That WHERE?!: A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Sex

You Want to Put That WHERE?!: A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Sex

For some, just reading this article alone is embarrassing. For others, they feel like pros… and then there’s that middle bunch who’s curious, but needs a little guidance! Fear not wonderers! Goddess Isis is here to offer a little “how to” in the anal sex department (sorry mom, exit right now!). It’s okay to feel a little shy about the topic! We’ve all been there! Many who have not tried it often question whether or not it is a painful experience and to be honest, it can be if you’re not prepared. Others are frightened by what they’ve seen in pornos and honestly, your experience should be nothing like that–especially to begin with! Anal sex is a regular part of intercouse for most couples and can definitely spice things up a bit in a relationship. It doesn’t have to be an embarrassing or scary experience if you’re prepared. Let’s get into it!


Be ready.

No matter who you choose to ‘go there’ with or who asks you to perform anal sex… if you’re not ready–DO NOT DO IT. There’s no pretty way to put this… anal sex feels like well, a penis in your butthole. It’s a tight fit and can tend to feel uncomfortable and/or unpleasant if you’re not able to loosen up–which is pretty hard to do if you’re not “ready and willing.”

Foreplay is important.

As I mentioned earlier, anal sex is not the most comfortable to start off with. If you really want to enjoy the experience, I highly suggest that two of you make extra efforts to turn each other on in every way that you possibly can. You all know that I’m a firm supporter of setting the atmosphere (mood music, candles, etc.) and catering to your partners sexual desires and fantasies. It’s very important that you two are to your extreme levels of “horny-ness” to make this a successful encounter.

Don’t forget that a (clean) finger playing in or around the rim of the anal entrance is quite pleasurable when having sex. Tonguing is also pleasurable and works as an additional lubricant.

Clear the passageway.

Yes ladies, as previously mentioned, anal sex already makes you feel like you have to take a huge dump–even though you don’t really have to. So PLEASE, for his sake, tidy up in the bathroom before the fun commences and take a nice poop. I know, eww…  but seriously. Some use enemas to clean their colon out, so feel free to do so if you and your partner desire.


The more lubricant you use the easier penetration will be for the both of you. Do not, by any means, allow him to stick you without a proper amount of lubricant. It’s PAINFUL! Gel-based lubricants are said to be the most preferred in comparison to oil-based lubricants, but I like using coconut oil–it’s a good lube and it’s natural.

Be in control of the event.

As much as he’ll try to take charge of the fun you two are having, you put your foot down and let him know that this is your show! No sticking, pushing, or anything else goes on until you give the word! Take things SLOW. YOU are in control of the pace! Start with the tip and do NOT let him thrust you hard and pound you out. It’s a sensual deal. This is not a porn flick.

Assume the right position.

Contrary to popular belief, doggy-style IS NOT the best position to be in when practicing anal sex. Again, this is not a porn flick. Some prefer to be on top and to ease down on the penish,  but I’ve found that the best position for me is laying on my back with my knees towards my shoulders. I’m able to relax much easier like this and it makes a good gateway for clitoral stimulation, which is always a plus. Remember, you control the pace! Spooning is also a good position to practice in. Again, it allows you to relax your anal entrance and to be honest, soft whispers in my ear are a major turn on–I don’t know about for you!

Use protection!

YES, even if you’re with the love of your life, protection is a must! Anal sex is a high risk sexual practice as it’s easy for certain diseases to be transmitted. Also, anal to vaginal penetration is a NO-NO! Using condoms will allow him to take pleasure in both holes without risking much for the two of you. This goes for fingers and toys as well! It’s never a bad idea to keep baby wipes nearby for easy clean up!

Relax and ENJOY the experience.

One of the most important things to remember when practicing anal sex is that you want to ENJOY what you and your partner are sharing! Relax your mind and body. If you’re mind is so focused elsewhere that you can’t find enjoyment in the experience this may not be the right sexual practice for you.

Don’t give up after the first unpleasant experience.

For most people, the first time isn’t a blissful experience. I mean there’s a penis in your butt for crying out loud! However, if the first time doesn’t go over so well, practice anal foreplay a little more when you all have sex again after that and don’t be afraid to try again if/when you’re ready. If you both have tried a few times over and you just can’t get with it, that’s okay too! Don’t fake the funk! Remember, you have to be ready!


Try these tips on for size and I hope things stay ever so exciting in bed for the two of you! Good luck!

Peace, love, and light, dear reader.